I get it. I’ve been there too. That place where loneliness makes quick connection feel like love. Where someone texts you every morning, calls you “baby” by week three, and suddenly—you’re emotionally entangled with a person you’ve never even met in person. Maybe never will.
And yet, somehow, it feels real. It feels like love.
But it’s not.
The Silent Struggle
We live in a time where real love feels harder to come by. We’re surrounded by people—but starved for connection. Even in church. Men and women alike are turning online—not because they’re shallow or reckless, but because they’re human. Hungry for love. Longing to be seen.
I was there too. I remember chasing connection through the screen—convincing myself that texting every day meant intimacy, that being called “baby” meant commitment, that chemistry meant God was in it. But what it really revealed was the condition of my heart:
Desperate.
Distracted.
Disoriented.
I wasn’t really looking for a person—I was looking for proof that I was lovable.
And that’s a dangerous place to start.
When Love Becomes a Scam
Not every online relationship is a disaster. I met a couple of genuinely kind men.
But overall? It wasn’t what I was looking for.
The speed.
The flattery.
The fantasy.
It didn’t make me feel chosen. It made me feel consumed—like I was giving pieces of my heart away just to feel seen.
And yes, eventually, I got scammed—not financially, but spiritually.
I traded discernment for dopamine.
I mistook attention for affection.
I forgot what real love actually looks like.
The Slow Road Back to Real Love
Real love is slow.
It’s respectful.
It doesn’t sprint past discernment or bypass boundaries.
It doesn’t ghost when things get real.
It doesn’t demand vulnerability before trust is built.
It doesn’t need constant reassurance because it’s rooted in truth.
“Love is patient, love is kind… it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4–5
I had to stop.
Stop the swiping.
Stop the fantasizing.
Stop the emotional leaking.
Not because love is bad—but because my heart was leaking in the wrong direction.
I had to learn again to guard my heart—not with walls, but with wisdom.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
Holding Space
My younger male friend is struggling.
He’s caught in that same search—trying to find something real in a sea of avatars and late-night affirmations. And I get it. I’ve been there.
I can’t judge him, because I know the pull.
The temptation to rush.
To reach.
To settle.
But now, I want something different.
Something deeper.
Something built not on algorithms, but on truth. I want a love that waits with me in silence, not just woos me with sweet nothings. A love that’s anchored in Christ, not carried by convenience.
Soul Insights
1. Love that costs nothing usually values nothing.
If someone loves you too quickly without knowing your story, your faith, your calling—they’re loving an illusion, not you.
2. Fast affection is not the same as faithful affection.
Consistency over time reveals character. Chemistry fades. Character builds.
3. Desperation isn’t discernment.
When we’re emotionally hungry, we settle. When we’re spiritually anchored, we choose with clarity.
4. Validation is addictive, but it’s not sustaining.
A good morning text can’t fill your soul. Only God can do that. Everything else is a shadow.
5. Guarding your heart doesn’t mean avoiding love—it means choosing wise love.
God’s love is intentional, timely, honest, and true. It’s not fake, not fast, and not afraid of the wait.
Final Thoughts
We all want to be loved.
That’s not the problem.
The problem is when we settle for counterfeits because the real thing takes time.
So here’s what I’m learning:
I don’t need fast love.
I need true love.
And true love—God’s love—doesn’t start with flattery. It starts with faithfulness.
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” — Song of Songs 8:4
If you’re in that space where you’re tempted to chase fast love or where loneliness makes the scroll feel easier than stillness—pause.
Ask yourself:
Am I being pursued, or am I being pacified?
Is this drawing me closer to God, or pulling me further from myself?
Love isn’t hiding.
But sometimes the right kind of love asks you to wait, to heal, and to remember who you are in Christ before you give your heart away again.
Let’s Talk
Have you ever found yourself chasing love that turned out to be empty?
What did God teach you in that season?
Drop your thoughts in the comments, message me directly, or share this with someone who’s been through it.
Let’s reclaim real love—together.
© 2025 Amelie Chambord
Soul Path Insights 
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