Love Isn’t a Game — I’m Not Playing

Not Everything That Looks Like Love Is Worth Holding Onto

Some stories make you laugh.

Some make you think.

And some — like the one I heard from a friend — just make you tired.

Tired not because it was dramatic (though it was), but because it reminded me of all the ways we exhaust ourselves trying to feel wanted. This particular story? It involved one woman, two boyfriends, and a lot of emotionally acrobatic decision-making.

But in the middle of that tangled triangle, I found something unexpectedly beautiful: a deep clarity about what I want — and what I’ll never settle for.

Part 1: The Emotional Real Estate Market

Picture this:

One woman, two boyfriends—let’s call them #1 and #2. A balancing act that’s anything but ordinary.

Boyfriend #1 is emotionally invested, wants a future, and sees her as a life partner. Boyfriend #2? He’s got status, assets, experience — and some emotional distance. He’s not holding on to her, but she’s holding on to him like he’s the last yacht leaving the dock.

And while one guy is still dreaming of wedding bells, the other is casually evaluating his options like it’s open house season.

As my friend laid out the timeline, the plot twists, the text messages, and the fallout, I realized I wasn’t shocked. I was sad. Not for her choices, but for the emptiness they seem to be trying to cover.

“When you don’t know your worth, you’ll settle for a discount version of love.” – Unknown

She’s not settling for boyfriend #1, technically. She’s choosing what looks more secure, more promising, more financially set. But what’s missing is peace.

And I’ve decided that no matter how much someone has on paper — if they cost me my peace, they’re too expensive.

Part 2: Why I’m Not Playing the Game

I’ve loved people who didn’t love me back the same way.

I’ve hoped for consistency from people who only offered confusion.

And I’ve questioned my own worth because someone couldn’t recognize it.

Not anymore.

“If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make room for you without you needing to fight for it.” – Mandy Hale

I don’t want to “win” someone.

I don’t want to convince someone I’m worth loving.

And I’m not going to be one of many women in someone’s life, hoping he’ll pick me in the end.

“Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” – Matthew 5:37

That verse hits differently when you realize how many people speak in maybes — half-committed, emotionally evasive, always keeping doors slightly open just in case something better comes along.

I want someone who speaks in clear, holy intention. Who knows what they want. And more importantly — knows how to recognize me when they see me.

Part 2: What I’m Choosing Instead

I want a love that looks like peace.

I want a partner who doesn’t make me question my value.

I want mutual vision, spiritual alignment, and the kind of relationship that reflects God’s design — not society’s expectations.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2

I’m not conforming to the kind of relationships that are popular but hollow. I’m holding out for something eternal — not just emotional.

If it means I have to wait, I’ll wait.

If it means I’m single longer, so be it.

Because the person I choose to walk through life with will not be picked out of fear — they’ll be chosen from a place of faith.

“Waiting is not wasting. It is a wise investment in your future.” – Lysa TerKeurst

Soul Insights

1.) Peace is a non-negotiable.

If I have to lose myself to keep someone, they were never mine to begin with.

2.) Desire without discernment is dangerous.

Just because someone looks good or feels good doesn’t mean they are good for you.

3.) Having options isn’t the same as having clarity.

You can date three people and still be confused. You can be alone and be the most emotionally stable you’ve ever been.

4.) Backup plans are a sign of fear, not faith.

If you’re holding on to someone “just in case,” you’re not living in alignment — you’re living in anxiety.

5.) God’s timing > emotional scrambling.

The love God has for me will never require manipulation, compromise, or spiritual confusion.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

Final Thoughts: For the Ones Who Are Still Waiting

I may not have a ring on my finger.

I may not be swapping “goodnight” texts with anyone right now.

But I have peace.

Peace from not playing games.

Peace from not begging to be seen.

Peace from trusting that when it’s right, I won’t have to chase it.

If you’re still waiting too — keep your heart intact.

Keep your standards rooted in truth.

You’re not being too much — you’re being wise.

God’s love doesn’t play games.

And the person meant to walk beside you? They won’t either.

Soul Path Insights