Letting Go and Moving Forward

When the “What Ifs” Won’t Let Go

Have you ever struggled to let go of someone who meant everything to you? Sometimes, moving forward feels impossible, especially when the “what ifs” keep pulling you back. What if you had chosen differently? What if you had stayed? What if the life you imagined could have been your reality?

These questions came flooding back while I was watching the Japanese drama Beyond Goodbye, a deeply layered story about love, loss, and the difficult process of moving forward. It follows a woman grieving her fiancé, whose heart is transplanted into another man. That man starts experiencing memories of the deceased, leading to an emotionally charged encounter between past and present.

It made me think of a time when I, too, struggled to let go of a relationship that had once felt perfect. For two years, I wrestled with heartbreak, wondering what could have been, before I realized that sometimes, God’s plans for us are much bigger than our own.

A Love I Thought Would Last Forever

He was everything I had hoped for in a partner. Thoughtful, fun, and supportive, he made me feel loved in all the little ways that mattered—through weekly dates, handwritten cards, small gifts, and conversations that encouraged my growth. I had envisioned a future with him, one where we would build a family and create a life together.

But as time went on, our paths began to diverge. I had dreams of going to college, living abroad, and traveling, while he was still figuring out his direction. That uncertainty led to our decision to part ways.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” —C.S. Lewis

At the time, I couldn’t see the truth in those words. Letting go felt like losing everything.

The Two-Year Struggle to Let Go

For two years after the breakup, I struggled. The “what ifs” consumed me. What if I had stayed? Would we be married now, with the family I had dreamed of? I prayed constantly, often arguing with God, asking why things had to end the way they did. I couldn’t understand how something that felt so right could fall apart.

Then came the day I learned that he had married someone else. The news hit me harder than I expected, but it also forced me to confront the reality that we were on separate paths for good. As painful as it was, I knew I had to release the grip I had on the past if I wanted to move forward.

Psalm 34:18 brought me comfort during those moments of despair:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Slowly, through prayer and reflection, I began to accept that letting go didn’t mean forgetting or diminishing what we had. It meant making room for something new.

Soul Insights

1. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting—it means releasing the grip of the past.

I still cherish the memories of our time together, but they no longer hold me back. I’ve come to see them as a chapter in my life, not the whole story. Moving forward doesn’t erase the past; it transforms how you carry it.

2. God’s plans are bigger than your limited vision.

At the time, I couldn’t understand why God would allow the relationship to end. But as I pursued my dreams—going to college, living in France, and traveling the world—I saw how His plans for me were greater than I had imagined. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me:

“For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

That verse became a lifeline, pulling me back when I felt overwhelmed by doubt.

3. The “what ifs” will come, but they don’t define you.

Even now, the “what ifs” sometimes creep in, but they no longer control me. I’ve learned to acknowledge them without letting them dominate my thoughts. Romans 8:28 reassures me:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.”

Even when life takes unexpected turns, God’s goodness remains constant.

4. Grief and growth coexist.

Letting go wasn’t a linear process. There were days I felt okay and others when the pain resurfaced. But I realized that grief and growth can happen side by side. Healing doesn’t require perfection; it requires persistence.

5. Embrace the life you have, not the one you thought you lost.

I often wonder what life would have been like if I had stayed. But when I reflect on the freedom I’ve had to explore, grow, and discover myself, I know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I’ve built a life filled with purpose, and for that, I am grateful.

Healing Through Faith and Trust

There’s a quote by Rumi that resonates deeply with my journey:

“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

Letting go felt like my world was turning upside down, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that it was making room for something new. God’s silence wasn’t rejection—it was preparation. He was preparing me for a life beyond what I had planned.

Final Thoughts

If I could go back and speak to my younger self, I would tell her this:

“You’re going to live a life beyond what you can imagine right now. Trust that the path ahead is full of good things, even if you can’t see them yet. God’s plans for you will surprise you in the best possible way.”

The “what ifs” may never fully disappear, but they don’t have to control us. The past will always be a part of who we are, but it doesn’t define where we’re going. Letting go isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of something new. And often, that something new turns out to be exactly what we need.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” —Martin Luther King Jr.

So take that first step. Trust the path you’re on. Let go of the past, and make space for the life God is waiting to give you.

What’s your story of letting go? I’d love to hear how you’ve found healing and growth in the comments below.

Soul Path Insights