Soul Path Insights

A Reflection on Friendship and Relationships

Some relationships feel effortless, as though they’re meant to bring out the best in you, while others feel heavy, leaving you constantly trying to make things work. Over time, I’ve realized that the key to lasting relationships—whether romantic or platonic—is not just chemistry, but the depth of connection and the ability to build on a foundation of friendship. When love is rooted in genuine friendship, it has the strength to endure the changes and challenges that life inevitably brings.

I’m grateful to have experienced such a bond with a close friend I’ve known for more than twenty-one years. We met in college through a mutual friend, bonded by our shared love for the French language, and from the very beginning, our connection felt easy and natural. After my summer program in Paris, he visited me for the first time, and those four days exploring the city together solidified our friendship. We spent every moment laughing, sightseeing, and simply enjoying each other’s company, creating memories that would carry us through the years. Even now, despite the distance, we make the effort to visit each other regularly, and every time we reconnect, it feels like no time has passed.

It reminds me of Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” This friendship is a constant source of strength and joy, where we help each other grow. Our time together is never draining, but instead filled with laughter and energy. We give to each other without ever taking more than we receive, and that’s what makes it so fulfilling. It’s as though we are a well of positivity, constantly replenishing each other, rather than depleting one another.

In contrast, my recent romantic relationship lacked this sense of mutual energy and ease. We met through a mutual friend, but unlike my friendship, our connection felt rushed. We quickly moved from texting to talking on the phone almost every day, and while the excitement was there, I soon felt like we were forcing something to happen. The relationship progressed too fast, and I found myself drained, trying to meet needs that I couldn’t fulfill.

The Bible speaks to this imbalance in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” I often felt like I was the one holding things together, with little emotional return. Unlike my friendship, where we lift each other up, this relationship felt like a constant struggle to stay afloat.

There were many misunderstandings between us, and it left me questioning why things couldn’t be easier, why we couldn’t find the same joy in being together that I found with my friend. With my friend, every interaction is light and filled with fun, much like the quote by Albert Schweitzer: “Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when you share it.” When we’re together, we share happiness, building each other up. In contrast, my relationship with my ex was filled with tension, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His energy drained mine, and over time, it became clear that this wasn’t a relationship that could last.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 teaches us that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” This scripture resonates deeply with me because it highlights the qualities that were missing in my past relationship. There was no patience or kindness in the way we interacted. The misunderstandings and tension overshadowed any romantic feelings we once shared, and the lack of a true friendship as the foundation made it hard to weather the challenges.

On the other hand, my friendship has always embodied the principles of 1 Corinthians. It’s built on kindness, mutual respect, and understanding. We can laugh at our differences, support each other in our struggles, and most importantly, we never take from one another without giving in return. In this relationship, there’s no imbalance of energy. We add to each other’s lives, as Proverbs 18:24 reminds us: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” My friend has been that constant in my life—a source of joy, encouragement, and unwavering support.

Over time, I’ve come to understand that relationships built on fleeting romantic feelings often lack the depth needed to last. It’s the friendship at the core that sustains the connection. Like any deep bond, true love requires the patience to allow things to develop naturally, the kindness to lift one another up, and the mutual understanding that builds trust over time.

Soul Insights

1. Friendship Before Romance: The most fulfilling relationships are built on a foundation of friendship. Without that, romance fades, and misunderstandings take its place. A strong friendship adds depth and longevity to a relationship.
2. Energy Exchange: In healthy relationships, both people give and receive energy in a way that uplifts. If you’re constantly feeling drained, it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t balanced or mutually fulfilling.
3. Patience and Growth: Real connections take time to develop. Whether it’s a friendship or romance, be patient. Allow the relationship to grow naturally, and focus on building mutual respect and understanding before anything else.
4. Joy in Connection: The best relationships, like my friendship, are filled with laughter and joy. If being with someone feels like work more often than not, it’s worth reflecting on whether the relationship is truly right for you.
5. Letting Go: Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is let go of relationships that aren’t encouraging or uplifting. Ending my romantic relationship allowed me to focus on deeper, more meaningful connections, like my long-standing friendship.

Final Thoughts:

Relationships are about more than the initial spark of attraction. The ones that endure are those built on the bedrock of friendship, mutual respect, and a shared willingness to uplift one another. When both people bring positivity and kindness, the relationship thrives. It’s not about how fast you fall in love, but how deep the connection runs.

© 2024 Amelie Chambord