Breath of Strength

It’s easy to take something as simple as breathing for granted—until it’s taken away from you. Years ago, while I was stationed in Hawaii during my time in the military, I found myself grappling with a severe case of pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for almost a week. What began as an ordinary day quickly turned into a battle for my health, a journey of discovering strength in vulnerability, and learning to lean on others when I could barely stand on my own.

The Unexpected Turn:

Living in Hawaii, the weather could be intensely hot and humid. To escape the heat, I would turn the air conditioning in my barracks room down to make it very cold. The contrast was sharp—inside, it was freezing, and outside, the heat was suffocating. This constant shift between extremes eventually took its toll on my body. One morning, I woke up feeling incredibly weak. I tried to get out of bed, but my legs had no strength. I toppled over, realizing I couldn’t stand.

In that moment of weakness, I called a friend for help. She rushed over and took me to Tripler Army Medical Center. By the time we arrived, I felt utterly drained. The diagnosis was pneumonia, compounded by bronchitis, and I was immediately admitted to the hospital. The next several days were a blur. I was hooked up to an IV and changed into a hospital gown by the nurses. At that point, I was so sick that I didn’t care what they did to my body—I just wanted to rest and recover.

Confronting Vulnerability:

During my stay, I felt incredibly weak and helpless. I had always been someone who thrived on independence, but now I was dependent on others for everything. Friends visited me in the hospital, their faces full of concern. I must have looked like I was on the brink of death because even my boyfriend at the time looked like he was going to cry when he saw me. I had lost a significant amount of weight, and my energy was completely drained.

There was a point where I had to let go of any sense of control. I didn’t have the strength to worry about how I looked or what was happening around me. I was too weak to care if a nurse or doctor came in to check my vitals or administer medication. I just wanted to sleep because, in my condition, sleep was far sweeter than being awake.

Finding Rest Amidst the Chaos:

While being constantly woken up to check my vitals or receive medication was frustrating, there was also a strange comfort in the routine. Despite the annoyance, I started to appreciate the rest I was getting. I had no choice but to stop, to be still, and to let my body heal. The enforced rest became something I came to savor. It was in this stillness that I began to find a sense of peace amidst the chaos of being unwell.

The verse, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10), echoed in my mind during those quiet moments. It reminded me that even when everything felt out of control, there was a greater plan at work, and I could trust in that. I didn’t have to force my way through; I just had to be present and let the healing take place.

A Renewed Perspective on Life:

After nearly a week in the hospital, I began to recover. Slowly, my strength returned, and I was finally discharged. The experience left me with a new appreciation for the simple things—like the ability to stand, walk, and breathe deeply without pain. I realized how easy it is to take our health for granted until it’s compromised.

More than anything, I learned the importance of giving myself grace. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to go slow. It’s okay to rest. There is no shame in taking the time you need to recover fully, whether that recovery is physical, emotional, or spiritual.

Soul Insights

Embrace Vulnerability as Strength: True strength is not about handling everything alone; it’s about knowing when to lean on others. Being vulnerable opens the door to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Find Stillness Amidst the Storm: In moments of chaos and uncertainty, quieting the mind and turning inward can provide clarity and peace. Trust that there is a bigger picture at play, even when the path is unclear.
Value the Simple Things: Often, we overlook the small blessings in our daily lives. When they are stripped away, we learn to appreciate them even more. Gratitude for the basics—like health and breath—can transform our perspective.
Allow Yourself Time to Heal: Healing, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, is not a race. Give yourself grace and permission to recover at your own pace. Rest is not a weakness but a necessary part of the journey.
Recognize the Power of Community: Even in unexpected places, kindness and support can be found. Cherish the communities you form along the way—be they friends, family, or even strangers who show up in moments of need.

Final Thoughts:

Reflecting on my battle with pneumonia, I realize it was a chapter that taught me about vulnerability, resilience, and the power of human connection. Even in the midst of difficulty, there is room for kindness, hope, and growth. It reminded me to cherish the simple things, to lean on others when needed, and to trust in the process of healing. Life may force us to slow down at times, but those moments can bring unexpected blessings if we’re open to receiving them.

This experience taught me that strength isn’t always about pushing forward; sometimes, it’s about being still, trusting the process, and allowing yourself to heal fully.

Soul Path Insights