Soul Path Insights

We often think we know ourselves—until life throws us into new situations that challenge everything we assumed. For me, living alone and navigating a relationship brought to light many of my strengths and weaknesses. These experiences continue to shape my journey of self-discovery, offering insights into self-reliance, patience, and how solitude has deepened my connection with myself.

One of the first things I’ve come to realize is that I’m self-reliant—perhaps a little too much at times. I tend to avoid asking for help, even when I need it, because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I remember one particular moment at church while helping with live streaming. I had to fold and move a heavy stage for the cameras, something that could have been handled much more easily with a few extra hands. But instead of asking the guys around me for help, I decided to handle it myself, determined not to interrupt their work. I thought of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, which says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” It’s a verse that reminds me of the strength in numbers, yet there I was, relying solely on my own muscle power. By the time others noticed and rushed over to assist, I had already folded the stage. That moment highlighted a deeper pattern in my life: while self-reliance gives me strength, it also holds me back from accepting the help that is freely offered.

During my past relationship, I learned that patience isn’t something I’ve mastered as much as I once believed. My ex-boyfriend would visit and stay at my apartment, and I, being traditional, would stay with friends because I didn’t believe in sharing space without marriage. Yet, even in that arrangement, I struggled with patience. One thing that would particularly frustrate me was his self-limiting mindset. He would often say he couldn’t do something without even giving it a try, and that lack of effort really wore me down. I don’t understand how can a person limit themselves without trying. I’d find myself repeating, “Just try it,” only to be met with resistance. Ephesians 4:2 encourages us to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Those words were tested time and time again as I faced the frustration of trying to encourage someone to push past their limitations.

Living on my own has deepened my love for solitude. I cherish the peace and freedom that come with having my own space, but it has also made it more difficult to adjust when someone else is in that space. It’s challenging to shift from living independently to sharing my routines with someone else, even when they’re only visiting. I often think of the words of the poet May Sarton, who said, “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” In my solitude, I find richness and clarity, but it has also made me protective of that space, which is why sharing it sometimes feels overwhelming.

As I reflect on these experiences, I’m learning that asking for help and sharing space doesn’t diminish who I am. As I navigate the balance between self-reliance and the willingness to let others in, I’m learning that personal growth is a continuous journey. As Anne Lamott wisely said, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” When I step back and give myself time to reflect, I find the grace to continue growing, both alone and alongside others.

Soul Insights

1. Self-reliance offers strength, but it can also prevent us from receiving the support we need. Accepting help doesn’t weaken us; it connects us.

2. Patience is not static. It ebbs and flows with our circumstances, reminding us that we are always evolving in our relationships with others.

3. Solitude is a source of richness. It allows us to connect deeply with ourselves, helping us to set boundaries that honor our well-being.

4. Sharing space with others is a delicate dance between maintaining our sense of self and making room for connection. It requires both patience and openness.

5. Growth is not linear. Each moment of frustration, reflection, and peace leads us to a deeper understanding of who we are, both alone and with others.

Final Thoughts

Living on my own has taught me invaluable lessons about who I am—my strengths, my struggles, and where I still have room to grow. Self-reliance and patience are traits I continue to refine as I journey through life’s complexities. Each step reveals more about how I can balance solitude with connection, independence with interdependence. Proverbs 3:5 encourages us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” In this journey, I’ve learned that sometimes, leaning on others is part of the trust we must cultivate, both in God and in those around us.

What has living alone or sharing space with others taught you about yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

© 2024 Amelie Chambord