The Power of Letting Go

Sometimes, letting go of someone we love isn’t about choosing to move on—it’s about accepting that we have to. My story begins at a Christmas service, where I bumped into someone who would soon become an important part of my life. There was an instant connection, and before I knew it, we were dating. Everything seemed perfect, but life had other plans.

At the time, I was stationed in Hawaii, serving in the military, when I received orders to move to Washington State. It was a difficult decision, one that meant leaving behind not just the place but also the person I had grown so close to. When I told him about my orders, he was supportive but clear—he didn’t want to hold me back. He left the decision up to me, and I made the choice to move.

We were both young, too young to even think about marriage or long-term commitments. While I was certain about my future—I knew I wanted to go to college after my military service—he was still figuring things out. He wasn’t sure whether he would return to Kentucky or stay in Hawaii after leaving the Marine Corps. The uncertainty about his own path, combined with my clear direction, made our situation even more complicated.

Despite how much we cared for each other, he decided that it was best for us to break up. He didn’t want to hold me back, and though it was painful, I knew he was trying to do what was best for both of us. I didn’t want to let go, but I understood why he made that decision.

The breakup was incredibly hard for me. I grieved the loss for years, crying often and wondering what could have been. I couldn’t help but think that if I had stayed in Hawaii, things might have turned out differently—maybe we would have ended up together. But staying would have meant putting my dreams on hold, and I knew that wasn’t the right choice for me.

Later, I found out that he had gotten married and started a family. Hearing that was like reopening the wound that had never fully healed. Even today, I think about him from time to time, wondering what might have been. But in the end, I realize that things worked out as they were meant to. I pursued my dreams, went to college, and built the life I had envisioned for myself.

It reminds me of the words from Isaiah 43:18-19: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” This scripture speaks to the importance of letting go of the past to embrace the new things that life has in store for us.

Soul Insights

Through this experience, I’ve come to understand several key lessons that have shaped my perspective on life and relationships.

First, I learned that change is constant. Life never stays the same, no matter how much we wish it would. Relationships, circumstances, and people all evolve, and it’s important to accept that nothing remains static. People move on, and they do what’s best for them, just as we must do what’s best for ourselves.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” – Hermann Hesse

I also discovered that pain doesn’t last forever. The heartbreak I felt after the breakup was intense, and it seemed like the sadness would never end. But as time passed, the pain began to ease, and I found that I could move forward. Healing is a gradual process, and while it may seem impossible in the moment, it does get better with time.

Another insight is that when you think you can’t move on, you can. It’s natural to feel stuck after a significant loss, believing that happiness is out of reach. But as you give yourself time to heal and grow, you find the strength to continue. New opportunities and joys will present themselves, reminding you that life goes on.

Through this journey, I also learned the importance of self-discovery through loss. Letting go of someone I cared deeply about forced me to reconnect with myself and my own desires. In the process, I realized what I truly wanted from life and began pursuing my own dreams and goals.

I also understood the value of following your own path. Choosing to prioritize my education, even at the cost of a relationship, taught me that sometimes, the hardest decisions are the most necessary. Staying true to your goals, even when it means making tough choices, is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment.

Finally, I learned the importance of acceptance. Wishing that things had turned out differently only prolonged my pain. It was only when I accepted what happened and understood that everything unfolded as it needed to that I found peace. Acceptance is key to moving forward and finding contentment with where life leads us.

Reflect and Apply:

As you think about your own life, consider this: Is there something or someone you’ve been holding onto that might be holding you back from pursuing your own path? What would it look like to let go, even if it’s painful, and how might that open up new opportunities for growth and fulfillment?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions. Journaling about your thoughts or discussing them with a trusted friend can be powerful steps toward your own journey of letting go and embracing change.

Soul Path Insights